dietrying







I'm kate, 18 and from vermont. I'll have a pic soon hopefully. As for me I like going to concerts, hanging out with friends and playing bass and guitar. Bands that don't suck: anthrax poison thrice brand new river city rebels oar dashboard confessional cannibal corpse soulfly morphues killswitch engage sworn enemy bon jovi the pist "there's an army on the dance floor it's a fashion with a gun my love in a room without a door a kiss is not enough"

   

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Oct 2, 2003
every rose has it's thorn

well another night spent online doing nothing even though i have an insane amount of homework this week. i'm tired too but not tired enough to sleep. also i'm finding that i have a hard time sleeping if i don't have some background noise and given neither my stereo or my tv is in good working condition now having background noise makes it very hard to fall asleep. i may sleep on the couch but that means an early morning so i don't know. i think i may skip class tommrow night, i don't really want to go and it would be a good way to start off the weekend since i have a day off on friday. i really need to get some homework done as well. i'm feeling a bit nostalgic tonight but it's probally because i've been listening to poison and a long december by the counting crows and these bands/songs tend to do that to me. sometimes i want to let go of everything but yet as poison says in i won't forget you "that just wouldn't be me"...i don't really feel like getting into anything too deep right now or really what i'm thinking ah some nights this just doesn't seem worth it. i'm really hoping i can go up to burlington tonight or do something on the weeked but who knows...but i should be happy i'm going to burlington next week as long as brian comes down and we stay there until late, living there next year will be very very good. well i guess i don't have much to say i think i'm going to go watch the crow for a while. peace.

Posted at 12:49 am by xbrokendreamsx
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Oct 1, 2003
poison: the greatest band in the world..





ok so maybe i focused on bret and cc instead of the whole band (lets hope this works) but hell how could you not focus on them...so so pretty. haha just something to kill some time i suppose.


Posted at 08:24 pm by xbrokendreamsx
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best of me

well i've moved on from listening to dashboard to listening to poison all the time, witch is normally not bad because they have a mix of songs not just foucsing on one emotion but oh no i have to listen to best of ballads and blues and most of those are love songs and i can't help being nostalgic when i hear every rose has it's thorn...and regret ever making someone feel that way, hell it's been almost 4 years now and i still feel like crap because of it. i think i may call him and say im sorry but i wouldn't know where to go from there. I'm hopefully going to burlington on friday and that will get my mind off of things for the most part, if not i'm going up sometime next week. i've been writing a lot lately and i'm hesitant as always to put my work in my journal since i've got some trust issues around it but i may put this one in. people need to make hoods that fit around headphones i'm so cold right now and i'm relying on the comfort of my hatebreed hoodie to keep me warm needless to say it isn't working.

sleepless, the night steals away the sun
as shadows arise from sidewalk cracks
and lights fade from closed windows
but not from yours
bitter winds of fall a warning of winter
they whisper your name
watching these stars slowly fade away
falling alone falling for the memory of words not spoken
this wind is getting colder every night
and i'm still waiting
waiting for the warmth to come
your touch never seemed so far away
these autum nights have gotten the best of me

i'm not sure how much i really like this...but it's got some meaning behind it of course i don't want to explain exactly what but it relates to what i was talking about before...well needless to say "i won't forget you" could play into this

Posted at 07:53 pm by xbrokendreamsx
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no sleep=not happy

wow long night last night, i didn't get to sleep till about 4 and i think it wasn't even real sleep it was like i was still half awake. i'm going up to the park in a little while just because i haven't been up there in a while. i feel kind of bad about last night i was kind of mean to brian but it was just cause i was so so tired and didn't feel good so that made me in a bad mood. oh well i'll talk to him today sometime. I've been talking to this kid Jeremey through email..pretty cool kid he likes the 80's anyone that likes the 80's is cool haha. i realized that if i get started talking about them then i don't shut up. i always have so much to say until i start writing ah i don't know i think i'm going to go now so peace.

Posted at 11:08 am by xbrokendreamsx
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Sep 30, 2003
a few quizzes

Angel_sea
Sea

?? Which Angel Or Demon Are You ??
brought to you by Quizilla Slow, Deep And Hard
You Are Slow, Deep And Hard (1991) You've been hurt and you're feelin' it! You're
hurt, angry and maybe a bit vengeful but you're
strong and your pent-up emotion only makes you
stronger.

Which Type O Negative Album Are You?
brought to you by Quizilla


"Love is about stuffed animals, boxes of candy and flowers. True love is about shared syringes and death pacts."

damn sid is just so pretty...ah all these pretty guys i can't have haha. anyways my quizzes thing is being ignorant so i'm stoping for right now, i'm barly awake...really im so tired right now im thinking that the couch is looking pretty good but i'll stay up a bit longer

Posted at 11:52 pm by xbrokendreamsx
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thrice...so so good

If you're a smart kid
You'll stay the hell away from love
 
When deadbolts awake you from deja vu dreams,
At 4 in the morning you know where I'll be
Out running red lights asleep at the wheel
The sirens feed my nightmares.
I just close my eyes and I知 already there;
Its already too late.
I know its nothing but lies,
But they sound so sincere;
I find them too hard to hate.

 

'cause I知 sick of the stabbing, 
I知 sick of the breaking, 
I知 sick of the bleeding until we fall down, 
sick of this circle of death that we dance through 
again and again, just lay me in the ground. 
let's fall asleep together, 
hold me darling 'cause I知 scared, 
and I can't do this alone. 

 

now i lay here awning my life to a stranger 
and i realize that empty words are not enough
iエm left here with the question of just
what have i to show except the promises i never kept?
i lie here shaking on this bed, under the weight of my regrets
 

 

because I am due for a miracle 
I知 waiting for a sign 
I stare straight, into the sun 
and I wont close my eyes 
until I understand or go blind 

 

 

somehow i find beauty in our failings, 
somehow i find meaning in these lies 
somehow I知 made perfect in this fracture, 

         your back is begging sweetly for my knives,


Posted at 09:55 pm by xbrokendreamsx
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crave your heart out yourself

well being the smart person that i am i left AIM on all day, apprently it didn't close when i went to work today and it's said i've been on for 9 hours and i've been gone since noon and it's 9:20 or so right now...ah fuck my apologies to anyone that tried to IM me and i didn't IM back. I found my dashboard confessional cd witch makes me very happy but doesn't help the fact of me listening to too much emo...haha. i went off on emma today not in a bad way just about relationships and stuff and i'm just like damn it i'm going with kris on this one "i guess i'm giving up on love cause it really kind of sucks" haha i don't know if i really beleive that but at the time it made me laugh and i don't know it was good to just get out everything that i had been feeling the last couple of days and she knows where i'm coming from so thats always good to hear. i hope everything goes good with her and corey tonight she was nervous as hell about it and i said if things didn't we could just chill and watch the crow and listen to dashboard and bitch about love ahahahaha. I'm talking to Mike now, good to hear from him. i like that kid haha even if he is into things that i'm kind of against (drugs and such) but hey he's a nice kid and that's all that matters. fuck i had something to say and now i got distracted in the dashboard lyrics and i can't think of what it was now.  i may be going up with burlington to hang out with emma and her friends and that would be cool and maybe see if some kids i know would like to join us. i don't have to work or go to class friday! i'm so damn happy about this...really i mean it's great i don't know what i'll do with myself lol. ok i can't fucking concintrate on writing because i haven't listened to this cd in so long it's distracting me so i'm off i'll probally up-date more later knowing me. peace.

Posted at 09:24 pm by xbrokendreamsx
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theres so much on my mind its tearing me apart

ok so i'm feeling a little better now...actully a lot better but that's alright. i kind of forgot about feeling bad really just cause people were making me laugh and i wasn't listening to so much emo...ah i want to say everything that's on my mind and i can't because i'm too scared to do that and i lost my chance tonight for reasons i don't want to get into ok fuck this i'm not going to think anymore tonight i am going to the park because i can't sleep. peace.

Posted at 12:39 am by xbrokendreamsx
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Sep 29, 2003
i guess i'm giving up on love cause it really kind of sucks

damn i'm in such a crappy emo mood tonight fuck this i hate it it sucks blah blah blah. maybe i should turn off the poison you would think that would be the best idea but oh no i can't do that that would be too easy. hey i'm eating at least didn't feel like doing that before. damn it i want it to be last night at higher ground i was having such a good time there but then afterwards it kind of went downhill and i'm not going to even get into why. i'm tempted to call greg really really tempted and i think i will tommrow before class. as he said to me when i was talking about not knowing whither or not i should call someone "the worst they can do is hang up on you" even though that would hurt like hell if he ever did that but i guess i can't blame him. i don't even know what i'm going to say to him probally nothing of importance but it will feel good to hear his voice again. i got an email from this kid..jeremey to be exact that i met from punk connect and that was nice i don't know it made me smile witch i kind of needed. and of course brian is there to help as well but he's always there. he's going to come down next week and hang out so that will be cool i think i'll go into burlington again...oh wow i haven't talked to mike in a while i just thought about that hopefully he'll be online tonight i'd like to see what he's up to. damn it i hate emo and i hate feeling like this...you know what i think i'm going to go with kris's attitude on love on the fact that it really kind of sucks. well im tired of feeling like crap so im going to stop writing since this isn't doing much good and i'm going to listen to this one particular song really really loud until i don't feel like such an emo kid anymore.

Posted at 11:24 pm by xbrokendreamsx
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Sep 26, 2003
need sleep...

ah man it's almost 2am and guess what im still up but it was worth it...

i'm in the middle of feelings that i can't explain and these words seem to never come out the way they sound in my head one moment im right the next im wrong whats to say except i cant stop feeling this way and these lights shine only for you and burn out for the thoughts before but i cant seem to fix things in my mind im never going to try

hmm...i don't know what this means yet just something that kind of came out that way but it's good it doesn't sound it but it is trust me i'm not up for explaining it tonight. man i'm sleepy i think its time for bed now. peace.

Posted at 01:28 am by xbrokendreamsx
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