Nov 20, 2003
Silence embraces these cold winter nights
Just before the snow begins to fall I feel you by my side
No warmth I’m still fucking freezing
Lament I hold you close to my heart
Searching for something anything
To make me feel again
The more I’ve searched the further away I find myself
Screaming inside so much I want to say
Laughing on the outside only to disguise my eyes
Letting myself get close only to fall further away
We dream of cities on fire
And skies of reds and purples
Driving just to see the stars from the windows
Our past in the mirrors
Cracked and fragile the pieces aren’t shattered yet
But it’s so close to being broken
Just so you know
Winter comes and winter goes
And I can’t hold on for too long
False promises hold me captive
I want to believe you more then you know
Forgive my hesitation but you’re eyes don’t tell me the same
Thought I heard you’re voice yesterday
Thought I could maybe see you’re eyes
In the stars of cloudy skies
Thought I felt you by my side
Thought I saw you’re smile
In the cracks of worn down side walks
Thought i could maybe put my arms around you
But you weren’t there
Winter brings moments of nostalgia
Sometimes it’s colder then it seems for November
Posted at 11:33 pm by xbrokendreamsx
Nov 7, 2003
last night, fuck i can't even describe it. i met dave for the first time, he was tall and had blonde/brown hair and blue eyes and kind of the whole snowboarder style going for him. anyways i'm not going to get into the detals of the night but it was amazing. we were hanging out on the side of this bridge (you have to climb down the rocks to get to) and anyways it was great it felt like being down there was an esacpe from the "real" world i mean it seemed like we were in a completly different place there and nothing mattered except that moment, he also knows exactly what to say and when. sometimes it's hard to trust him but i'm letting myself and i don't know that worries me some. he thinks i'm such an amazing person and i don't know i think that's nice of him to say but i don't think i'm as great as he makes me out to be. but anyways enough about that i'm hungry as hell and have about 12 new rave cds (he's a DJ as well) to listen to so i'm off. peace.
oh yeah today's my birthday...i'm 19
Posted at 09:41 am by xbrokendreamsx
Nov 5, 2003
i could push these buttons
on this imperfect object of perfection
and speak slowly as to catch myself
so i can hide my thoughts and keep them inside
give you no experessions or feelings
no hints to my intentions
i could stay silent for every seven minutes
and hold my breath until then
but you would only tell me
i sound beautiful
i could throw this away and run far from the ringing
forget a person who was an imperfect object of perfection
stop myself from feeling these thoughts
and cease to beleive this was for a reason
but you would only tell me i was right
a contemplative situation
with so much more to loose or mabye to gain
i'm looking ahead to the distance
to find out what may become of all this
and all you say is i inspire you tonight
**************************************************************************
holy shit..this isn't good, why am i inspried by someone that i can never feel anything for no matter the temptation. why am i debating weither or not to call him or not cause i won't be home tonight, does it matter? ah fuck why can i not get this out of my mind. maybe i should text message him? a bit informal but maybe? should i even be thinking these things? i don't want to i can't let myself think this. ah that last line hits me hard his poetry last night amazed me, he wrote two just about what he was feeling talking to me and then said i inspire him...that's a little too intense for me to just forget about but i have to.
Posted at 12:21 pm by xbrokendreamsx
you're words fall like stars
aimlessly against the power of my thoughts
i can't stop this falling
an experience of something i never will explain
i cannot see you
but you're eyes hold me captive
the beauty of sparks and silver linings
steal every last breath preventing me from taking it in
these stars will sting like hell when they hit
why am i not running?
**************************************************************************
Posted at 11:08 am by xbrokendreamsx
ummm what the fuck?!!?!?!?!? this has got to be the most fucked up night of my entire life serisously. oh man im not even going to try and make sense of this right now. litteraly i had one good thing turn into something incredible and undecrsible and then another not as great but defently good thing happen and its screwing with my head and then another thing to happen that will inveatalbe add to my confuseion. fuck man fuck
Posted at 03:53 am by xbrokendreamsx
Nov 4, 2003
lets see if this works...
<!--Begin PowerWebMusic.com Code -->
<script language="javascript">var song = "82";</script>
<script src="
http://www.powerwebmusic.com/music.js"></script>
<!--End PowerWebMusic.com Code -->
im hoping this will work if it does im going to be very fucking happy..
Posted at 12:17 am by xbrokendreamsx
Nov 3, 2003
good song..no clue who its by
i didnt know what to think
when you wrote your number on the back of my hand
i figured i'd stick around to see what you had planne
hopefully being myself is good enough
cause it's the only thing i know
i don't know what you have planned for us
but i'll go wherever you want to go
id give anything to know what you're thinking right now
because stomachs tied in knots don't seem to mean a thing
i wish i knew how you do it
cause every day i spend with you becomes the best day of my life
i know im warm by now but i havent stopped shaking yet
i'll take another deep breath try to calm down a bit
you showed me how wonderful it could be
falling asleep holding someones hand
couldn't take my eyes off you if i tried
but why would i even want to?
id give anything to know what youre thinking right now
cause stomachs tied in knots dont seem to mean a thing
i wish i knew how you do it
cause every day i spend with you
becomes the best day of my life
i wish i knew how you do it
cause every day i spend with you
becomes the best day of my lif
i wish i knew how you do it
cause every day i spend with you
becomes the best day of my life....
Posted at 01:32 pm by xbrokendreamsx
poison is the greatest band in the world
fuck poison is the greatest band in the world..that just needs to be said. as of right now though im listening to don't cry by gnr i forgot all about this song until last night when i heard it on my tv and i was just like fuck this is a great song, jeremy doesn't like it though makes him sad for some reason i can see how the lyrics could but i don't know the story behind it. ah i can't help but love it though..reminds me of looking at stars on the beach a few summers ago so it kind of makes me all nostalgic. speaking of last night..ah what can i say it was great. we both feel asleep for a ltitle while though but it was good. really good. i'm not going to get into detals or anything like that but i can't wait till i see him again. guess i don't have much to say right now so i'm off. peace.Posted at 12:50 pm by xbrokendreamsx
Oct 30, 2003
look what the cat dragged in
damn last night was great, i hanged out with jeremey once again until pretty much 3am. it was good for reasons im not going to get into but needless to say i had a great time. and i can eat again! at least i think...i haven't been able to eat for the last 2 days and now its starting to catch up to me, hence getting very tired easily and having to lay down plus i think i lost weight witch surprises the hell out of me cause i never loose weight nor do i try to fuck im already too skinny but it defently seemed like i lost a few pounds haha well that wont last since im going to eat a lot today to make up for the days i didnt get to eat. im still wondering what i am doing halloween night, theres this really cool party that i want to go to..jeremey invited me and andrew and emma want me to go as well but brian will be here and i don't know if he could come as well, i don't think it would be a problem but it's not my party so i can't just invite all my friends to come along with me as well. damn tv dinners take way too long even in the microwave...haha im impaitent. anyways im off. peace.
Posted at 12:57 pm by xbrokendreamsx
Oct 28, 2003
the best days i spent were the nights with you
damn, i'm a whole mix of emotions lately haha. I've been hanging out with Jeremey a lot, it's been going really good. We talk for hours..littarly i mean hours we met up at 5:30 yesterday, went to dennys and hanged out in the park in middlebury then hanged out in my room and talked the entire time and he ended up staying until 3am. I wanted him to stay longer but I knew everyone would be getting up soon and the thoughts going through their minds of what happened would not be the best ones, if it had been up to us he would have stayed until he had to go to work the nexxt morning. Anyways I had a lot of fun, i feel like i can say anything around him it's really great. it's strange though he knows so many of the same kids i know but we never ran into each other before, maybe cause i just started hanging out with them or something like that. emma and andrew are together now witch is good for the both of them, andrew called me today on my cell cause emma left a message and told him to call her back on that phone and he seemed so happy it was really good to hear, i mean maybe he's always like that but i don't know it was good to know he was in a good mood. brian got his car back today so that was cool, 245$ though and that kind of sucked but it's better then it could have been. anyways he's going back to maine today but then coming back on thursday and hanging out then so that will be good. well i'm off for right now. peace.
Posted at 12:57 pm by xbrokendreamsx
