damn i'm in such a crappy emo mood tonight fuck this i hate it it sucks blah blah blah. maybe i should turn off the poison you would think that would be the best idea but oh no i can't do that that would be too easy. hey i'm eating at least didn't feel like doing that before. damn it i want it to be last night at higher ground i was having such a good time there but then afterwards it kind of went downhill and i'm not going to even get into why. i'm tempted to call greg really really tempted and i think i will tommrow before class. as he said to me when i was talking about not knowing whither or not i should call someone "the worst they can do is hang up on you" even though that would hurt like hell if he ever did that but i guess i can't blame him. i don't even know what i'm going to say to him probally nothing of importance but it will feel good to hear his voice again. i got an email from this kid..jeremey to be exact that i met from punk connect and that was nice i don't know it made me smile witch i kind of needed. and of course brian is there to help as well but he's always there. he's going to come down next week and hang out so that will be cool i think i'll go into burlington again...oh wow i haven't talked to mike in a while i just thought about that hopefully he'll be online tonight i'd like to see what he's up to. damn it i hate emo and i hate feeling like this...you know what i think i'm going to go with kris's attitude on love on the fact that it really kind of sucks. well im tired of feeling like crap so im going to stop writing since this isn't doing much good and i'm going to listen to this one particular song really really loud until i don't feel like such an emo kid anymore.